it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
