I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
