oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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