Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
