She said her name was "party"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
