I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
