Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ladies don't puke and tell
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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