..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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