I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
