just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
