Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
as a side note pls kill me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
