great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
