I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
