I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
