Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I love having hate sex.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
