her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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