If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
