I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
