So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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