i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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