3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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