So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
