Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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