I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Come see our sink grown plant.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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