i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
