Nicole vs. Life
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
