I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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