Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
