That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
