Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
