That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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