There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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