She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
