Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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