I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So apparently I’m into choking now
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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