You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
