How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
