So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
BRING THE BAGELS
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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