Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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