real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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