I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize