i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm always down for nudity.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
