I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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