ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
