please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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