so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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