dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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