it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
