He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
