just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
