I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
