I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
