Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
