You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
