Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize