I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
