Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
